california283

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california283

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 August 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1170
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About california283 : I hate you.

california283's page activity

Visits<b>Kitcat1234</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 9:05am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:03am<b>iJustWantVote</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:37pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:57am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:52pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:14pm<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 12:34am<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:34am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:37pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:14am<b>themeparkjunky</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:20am<b>be_brezzi</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:00pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:32am<b>imerichello</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:07pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 2:05pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:14am

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california283's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

by faceless_sailor8 / 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm / United States / Love

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

by ... / 06/06/2011 at 3:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

by milkymoo / 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm / Cyprus / Work

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2011 at 7:47am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

by changeddaily / 03/20/2011 at 12:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love