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50 favourites
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Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (3942)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11467) - you deserved it (3013)
On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (5135)
On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (7111)
On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22451) - you deserved it (2172)
On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (2045)
On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (1830)
On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9951) - you deserved it (20304)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (2150)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (4571)
On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (25015)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (6086)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (23885)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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