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Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (8887)
On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (8887)
On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (8887)
On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (2992)
On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6747) - you deserved it (21849)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (23215)
On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5897) - you deserved it (18275)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (7482)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12537) - you deserved it (22881)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (4086)
On 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm - kids - by slappedright (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (12851)
On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (5232)
On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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