Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bwzwally8

Search for a member

bwzwally8
  • Town/Country : Santa Clara, California
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1003
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bwzwally8 : I Love the outdoors love to camp and go hiking I'm about 6 foot I'm outgoing easy to talk too my favorite color is blue I have 2 golden retrievers I'm 22 I'm very well traveled I love to go to the gym I'm going to college for child development i'm easy to talk to open about anything I love to give hugs


Add me on Facebook Wallace Joseph Zumini IV.Follow me on instagram bwzwally8

bwzwally8's last visitors

Narttudeathpostsireply_wlyricsnotachinesewomansneakattackedmcr2000

bwzwally8's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bwzwally8's badges

bwzwally8's favorite FMLs

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14977) - you deserved it (87657)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (8310)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (3107)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (9111)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (5543)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

#20430472
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15893) - you deserved it (31120)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: