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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (2186)
Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5647) - you deserved it (635) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (5196)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (2084)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (482)
On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24112) - you deserved it (1489)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4163) - you deserved it (10285)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (2743)
On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of a female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (771)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13329) - you deserved it (1194)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (674)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5105) - you deserved it (2313)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10061) - you deserved it (648)
On 03/31/2012 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5389) - you deserved it (2503)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6321) - you deserved it (736)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
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