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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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bunii

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bunii
  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 December 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 6210
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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bunii's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (1896)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML

#2822887 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (70550) - you deserved it (6897)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1232)

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (473769)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (46080)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503 (947)

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (160066)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (29929)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729 (720)

I agree, your life sucks (164023) - you deserved it (74974)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

#2268591 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (13422) - you deserved it (35109)

On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (463)

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (98449)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853 (445)

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (94321)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

#2182230 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (7033) - you deserved it (35465)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120434) - you deserved it (28809)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (50159) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

#1929776 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (47831)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)