I am an animator. I like to draw. School life is rather unfair concerning social status. Shameless advertising/criticism/comments are intolerable. People call me a loser over small things and even when I beat them at something, it doesn't matter. Screw group work, I go solo. DOOM ftw!
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you totally deserved it (2251)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
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On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML
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On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you totally deserved it (1328)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
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On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us's eyes met mine. I mouthed, "Sorry." and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be.". FML
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On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
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On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML
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On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, Michael Jackson died. FML
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On 06/25/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it? FML
I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you totally deserved it (1382)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
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On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
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On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
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On 06/13/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by philderichmond (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML
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On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
