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Mobility
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Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71663) - you deserved it (9144)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21943) - you deserved it (1041)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by bluestarr1 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into my father. He was drunk and singing in the street. At 1:25pm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (1701)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by DogDoingScience (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (4002)
On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (3060)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (3080)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (11758)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28616) - you deserved it (6421)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (40160)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm - misc - by Stephanie - United States (California)
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51357) - you deserved it (2561)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (2044)
On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (2044)
On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)
Friday 24 May 2013
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