brookeo13

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brookeo13

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brookeo13brookeo13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 October 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1317
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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brookeo13's page activity

Visits<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 3:18am<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:00pm<b>UmbraSlayer</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:47pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 4:03am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:58pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:36am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:06pm<b>the_real_dvd</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:00am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:36pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:15pm

Fucked!<b>Kamorka</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:03am

brookeo13's FML badges

Perfectionist

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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brookeo13's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML

by The Doc / 06/07/2016 at 6:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML

by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML

by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 6:34am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML

by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she owes me because she once bought me something from the dollar menu at McDonald's. FML

by anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:43am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work