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brookeo13's favorite FMLs
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
by benjamin03 / 07/25/2016 at 8:32pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally decided to accept a date proposal from a guy who's had a crush on me for years. I got into his car, and it smelled strongly of my middle school perfume. I went into his bedroom and saw my middle school class photos hanging everywhere. Let's just say I ran home that night. FML
by hannamacintosh / 07/07/2016 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Forever_Cursed / 06/28/2016 at 10:02am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML
by PaintedDoll / 06/19/2016 at 11:12pm / United States / Holidays
Today, my job as a supervisor has become increasingly ridiculous because one employee doesn't want to do the tasks I give her. My supervisor tells me to keep working with her and giving her work. When she goes directly to him, he tells her she doesn't have to do them. FML
by crackie / 06/16/2016 at 1:45pm / Korea, Republic of / Work
by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML
by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 6:34am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Why / 04/24/2016 at 2:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…