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brookeo13

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brookeo13

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brookeo13brookeo13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brookeo13's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (6603)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (2882)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (3996)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (4041)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39274) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49528) - you deserved it (9318)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43180) - you deserved it (7349)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50794) - you deserved it (4766)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68840) - you deserved it (17907)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57553) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (2862)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (3853)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (8186)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France



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