About bronx819 : I'm just an average 16 year old teenager writing a couple books, none of them even halfway done.
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bronx819's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML
by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Rin / 01/15/2010 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
by scubai / 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Nosexytime / 01/14/2010 at 10:56am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML
by bs_happens / 01/11/2010 at 10:28am / United States (Texas) / Work
by wowhoopla / 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm / Miscellaneous
by CD / 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
by badsister / 01/10/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
by King7 / 01/09/2010 at 5:17am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome… Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be… Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I…