About bronx819 : I'm just an average 16 year old teenager writing a couple books, none of them even halfway done.
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bronx819's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML
by notaprossie / 02/03/2010 at 3:42am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML
by Star / 01/30/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Eagle / 01/26/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by owned / 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML
by Toldyouso / 01/22/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…