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brocept

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brocept

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 September 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2170
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brocept : I like sports and being crazy and also do a lot of stupid stuff.

brocept's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brocept's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16623) - you deserved it (77006)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41451) - you deserved it (7553)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex boyfriend who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML

#16386791
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (6955)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by StratMan (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

#16384217
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37596) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (56572)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39317) - you deserved it (17260)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

#16371531
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (8362)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Arad)

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

#16351736
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (6031)

On 05/26/2011 at 12:15am - intimacy - by blahblah493 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52903) - you deserved it (8648)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (4066)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (42361)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (18300)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML



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