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brocept

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brocept
  • Town/Country : Salt Lake City, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 September 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1871
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About brocept : I like sports and being crazy and also do a lot of stupid stuff.

brocept's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brocept's favorite FMLs

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (58549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

#16908101
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by mymomsstupid - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (9795)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (6187)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (520)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (5533)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (5191)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (6901)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44346) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (8108)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74515) - you deserved it (6151)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

#16717900
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (32759)

On 06/17/2011 at 8:31pm - love - by Emily J. - United States (Colorado)



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