About brocept : I like sports and being crazy and also do a lot of stupid stuff.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24998) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (7091)
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (2294)
On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (69298) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23230) - you deserved it (3383)
On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (3551)
On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35247) - you deserved it (7731)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (2799)
On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41221) - you deserved it (6104)
On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6460)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (392)
On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (4365)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (5800)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62953) - you deserved it (5694)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (5327)
On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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