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Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on mah dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whrld around an yelld ( BOO! ) causing me to scream lyk a little bitch. FML
Today... While Making Mah Daily Offering Of Turd To The Porcelain Throne... I Took Out Mah Phone And Startd Playing A Game. I Suddenly Felt A Tickling Sensation On Mah Leg... And I Freakd Out As I Saw Hundreds Of Ants Had Emergd From Behind The Toilet. FML
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decidd to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me 4 over an hour. "How about being frd?" mega FML
Today , thinking I was alone in a public bathroom , I started singing the words to mah favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush , so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
after having mah car been broken into the day before cuz I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked mah doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through mah windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
yesterday I took a box of Halloween decorations down from te attic . Inside, were a bunc of fake spiders . I emptied te box onto te floor and te "fake" spiders crawled all over te living room in opposite directions . FML
today I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game fir threatening children. fat FML
Today , I thought it would be fun to tease mah dog by standing above her an hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up an bite at mah chest whilst I wasn't wereing a shrt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting mah nipple sewn back on. FML
Friday 27 March 2015