Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 10/21/2015 at 1:55pm) | Search for a member
About brisbanegirl : Hey my name is Katie a 23yo Aussie girl 🏄👙
I come on FML daily because I need my fix and have done for several years. Any questions just pop me a message!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
Friday 27 November 2015