About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
"don't promise me the world when i already live in it"
"what you give is what you get"
:) I'm friendly so feel free to talk love meeting new people
About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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brendazelada's favorite FMLs
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Facepalm / 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/20/2011 at 3:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 8:53am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Love
by grrrr / 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm / United States / Love
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
by peachmelba / 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as… Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating.…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…