About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
"don't promise me the world when i already live in it"
"what you give is what you get"
:) I'm friendly so feel free to talk love meeting new people
About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
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brendazelada's favorite FMLs
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML
by heartsick / 04/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML
by prettysmellingbedroom / 02/15/2012 at 9:18am / United States / Health
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
by rejected4ever / 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Love
by random / 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Katherine / 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
by Alpha / 12/17/2011 at 4:18pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever… Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him,…