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About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
"don't promise me the world when i already live in it"
"what you give is what you get"
:) I'm friendly so feel free to talk love meeting new people
50 favourites
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (1053)
Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5605) - you deserved it (728)
On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (831)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1364) - you deserved it (16988)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States
Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2901) - you deserved it (5212)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:18am - health - by prettysmellingbedroom - United States
I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (1585)
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16727) - you deserved it (2576)
On 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by rejected4ever - United States
Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4810) - you deserved it (755)
On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17382) - you deserved it (3797)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10734) - you deserved it (788)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2561) - you deserved it (17613)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (2815)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6018) - you deserved it (17482)
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (1008)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (1444)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)
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