brendazelada

Search for a member

brendazelada

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1992
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About brendazelada : brenda bee :)
"don't promise me the world when i already live in it"
"what you give is what you get"
:) I'm friendly so feel free to talk love meeting new people

brendazelada's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:59pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:31pm<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:40am<b>refticon</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:14am<b>pk7718</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:14am<b>cmonger</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Blazzee</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:45pm<b>maters62</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:05pm<b>ItsMooMoo</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:17pm<b>swimgood</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:11pm<b>asinis</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:04pm<b>wandering_soul</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:21am<b>ellie_215</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:17am<b>ChevyCheerGirl64</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:28pm<b>Dahling</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:34am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Lunallia</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:27am<b>redbaseball7878</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>refticon</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:14am<b>ItsMooMoo</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:35am<b>martini47</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:30pm

brendazelada's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of brendazelada's badges

brendazelada's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

by heartsick / 04/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML

by prettysmellingbedroom / 02/15/2012 at 9:18am / United States / Health

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

by rejected4ever / 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Love

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

by random / 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

by Katherine / 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

by Alpha / 12/17/2011 at 4:18pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

by Username / 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Work