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brebabee793's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
by ramble ramble / 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous
Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML
by nolovefor21 / 01/16/2014 at 6:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by MGDS / 12/14/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by Christian / 09/28/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Love
by wombats / 09/28/2013 at 10:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
by -_- / 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
by Are you kidding me? / 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
by fUcKOAHdSAjl / 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML
by momma / 08/16/2013 at 11:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
by Hesintrouble / 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than… Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my… Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions…