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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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breakthesky

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breakthesky
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8917
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About breakthesky : Oh hai.

breakthesky's last visitors

FreezeTheFuckerofShitILIEKGIRLSBlondie4someotherbitchMeganH0LLYW00Droundnproud

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

breakthesky's favorite FMLs

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (1332)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (11688) - you deserved it (850)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (9423) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947 (441)

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (3596)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (11678)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19317) - you deserved it (35294)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (22544)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (5699)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

#6340215 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (1763)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48194) - you deserved it (8638)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5329) - you deserved it (55595)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (38833) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (13112) - you deserved it (31203)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (40807) - you deserved it (6904)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)