Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About brandonwong : Yo! Massage me! Or just message me.

Or don't. It's whatever really.

brandonwong's page activity

Visits<b>mptb9997</b> - yesterday at 8:33pm<b>jinique87</b> - yesterday at 6:46pm<b>muhnuqqa15</b> - yesterday at 9:23am<b>KarennaElizabeth</b> - yesterday at 11:00pm<b>Aphian</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:47am<b>Aleys</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:30pm<b>itslaelae</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:02pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Si123</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:45am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:17am<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:05pm<b>booklover428</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:45pm<b>acevango</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:33pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:48pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:42pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:20pm

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:06am<b>IsThisTakenToo</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:25am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:01pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:23pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:29pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:30pm<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:15am<b>cristinewest</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 3:36pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:19am<b>itslaelae</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:44am<b>annequenneville</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:37am<b>Doubledimp</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:22am<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:05am<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:22am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:20pm

brandonwong's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of brandonwong's badges

brandonwong's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50853) - you deserved it (4034) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (6401)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (8210)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58688) - you deserved it (10306)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33441) - you deserved it (6029)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17787) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (7085)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: