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borntoperform

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borntoperform
  • Town/Country : U.S.A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About borntoperform :

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borntoperform's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17351) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (4128)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (4128)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (5268)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (1853)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (5740)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (9439)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (25021)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (25021)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (21135)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39504) - you deserved it (4288)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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