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boredasfck

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boredasfck

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  • Number of visits : 1330
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>FitzHockey14</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 9:28pm

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boredasfck's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML

#9148913
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (24305)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (9310)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you deserved it (31348)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML

#8920959
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (2055)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by justpeachy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (3478)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2643)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19202) - you deserved it (6594)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (20879)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (34767)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you deserved it (3977)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14765) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -



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