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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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boone

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boone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21947
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About boone : I am excellent.

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boone's favorite FMLs

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (3579) - you deserved it (16678)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (1459)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

#7603599 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (17582) - you deserved it (4066)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

#7394843 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (3269)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:20am - love - by notpregnant (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (5096)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

#7373793 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (1835)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:10am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

#6904777 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (4589) - you deserved it (27610)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (3866)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (2185)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (1666)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49765) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States