Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boomsl4ng

Search for a member

boomsl4ng

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2518
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About boomsl4ng : Hi! Just a portuguese guy who is addicted to this damn app!! Live in Portimão with my girlfriend and like to do a lot of different things!! Love to have a good laugh and look at funny movies on youtube!!! Idiot hobby i know!! Addicted to computers and football!

boomsl4ng's page activity

Visits<b>gogo44444</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:55am<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:30am<b>Dadothy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:36am<b>CountCoolness</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>itsrainingcake</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:28am<b>sarahperez</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:27am<b>karmachameeleon</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:46pm<b>DizzyRamone</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 5:10pm<b>Jorindaaah</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:23am

boomsl4ng's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of boomsl4ng's badges

boomsl4ng's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67497) - you deserved it (9487)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (7052)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

#13052349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (5218)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (9668)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8526) - you deserved it (38476)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48482) - you deserved it (15112)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31024) - you deserved it (17612)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12362) - you deserved it (54150)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19294) - you deserved it (54901)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52341) - you deserved it (9986)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (13724)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (12409)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12459) - you deserved it (36620)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (35019)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: