boomsl4ng

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boomsl4ng

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3268
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About boomsl4ng : Hi! Just a portuguese guy who is addicted to this damn app!! Live in Portimão with my girlfriend and like to do a lot of different things!! Love to have a good laugh and look at funny movies on youtube!!! Idiot hobby i know!! Addicted to computers and football!

boomsl4ng's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:02am<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:28pm<b>gogo44444</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:55am<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:30am<b>Dadothy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:36am<b>CountCoolness</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>itsrainingcake</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:28am<b>sarahperez</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:27am<b>karmachameeleon</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 11:46pm<b>DizzyRamone</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 5:10pm<b>Jorindaaah</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:23am

boomsl4ng's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of boomsl4ng's badges

boomsl4ng's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

by emi / 07/01/2012 at 12:30am / Animals

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

by Addison / 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

by iris / 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

by hottygirl905 / 04/24/2012 at 7:50am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

by hudd357mag / 02/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Love