boomHEADSHOTllll

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boomHEADSHOTllll

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  • Number of visits : 2037
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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boomHEADSHOTllll's page activity

Visits<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>countryrose92</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:02am<b>jx88</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:49am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:09am<b>FkMySugar</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:59am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:03am<b>sam882</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:23pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:59pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

boomHEADSHOTllll's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, I got detention from my teacher for not handing an assignment in. It would be understandable if I hadn't handed it in a week before it was due. She won't listen to reason. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2015 at 8:21am / Australia / Work

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2015 at 4:14pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

by chillnhill / 09/10/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

by princeronron / 09/07/2015 at 10:02pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Animals

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

by Alan / 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:49am / Intimacy

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

by sendhelp / 08/03/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

by LexiD19 / 07/31/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.