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boomHEADSHOTllll

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 3:56pm) | Search for a member

boomHEADSHOTllll

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Visits<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

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boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (51311)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (4366)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39161) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (5912)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50543) - you deserved it (6620)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (5203)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (2981)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42151) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (7048)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46622) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (4434)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (19260)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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