Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boomHEADSHOTllll

Offline (the 05/25/2015 at 9:42pm) | Search for a member

boomHEADSHOTllll

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1121
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

boomHEADSHOTllll's page activity

Visits<b>jx88</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:49am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:09am<b>FkMySugar</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:59am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:03am<b>sam882</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:23pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:59pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

boomHEADSHOTllll's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of boomHEADSHOTllll's badges

boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35167) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

#21371640
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (6221)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:02am - love - by CrazyInLove - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73) - you deserved it (4891)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (6475)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
113 comments

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (2330)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: