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About boogersyum : I like cats . Miaow , I'm always hunnnngry .
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34888) - you deserved it (4198)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you deserved it (32437)
On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (5706)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20152) - you deserved it (5195)
On 10/08/2009 at 12:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (5637)
On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (6281)
On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (44303)
On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47233) - you deserved it (2298)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (2313)
On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4661) - you deserved it (19039)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (3655)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47614) - you deserved it (2250)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5391) - you deserved it (58560)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9846) - you deserved it (25202)
On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)
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