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Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (49499)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (6232)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39605) - you deserved it (2930)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13776) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (2392)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (1252)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (1869)
On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (7848)
On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48127) - you deserved it (3251)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (3580)
On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (2999)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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