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bomzo

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bomzo
  • Town/Country : Chicago, Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 605
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About bomzo : High school football and wrestling team. I love to laugh and to make others laugh. Wanna talk? Message me!

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bomzo's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (2038)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (1430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2183)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

#19726034
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (2552)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:47am - health - by Monkey253100 - France

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

#19352792
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (4333)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (218365)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (29374)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (9233)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (60906)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6420) - you deserved it (80533)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

#14279972
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (3173)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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