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boldblonde

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  • Number of visits : 100
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boldblonde's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (15249)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (2616)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (1957)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (7539)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (1332)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (6449)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

#20050522
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15588) - you deserved it (8081)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (1448)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (1681)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)



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