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bogart20

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bogart20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3907
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (6203)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (2377)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (6077)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (8188)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (2515)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (2073)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6291) - you deserved it (53838)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (1725)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (3273)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (4919)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (23408)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

#19876638
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (2770)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France



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