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bogart20

Offline (the 04/11/2015 at 3:47pm) | Search for a member

bogart20

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5013
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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bogart20's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of bogart20's badges

bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11553) - you deserved it (154109)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (6363)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31296) - you deserved it (8596)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (6103)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (2533)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25821) - you deserved it (2120)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6336) - you deserved it (54113)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (1819)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (4931)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (24548)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

#19876638
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (4200)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (2774)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France



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