bogart20

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Offline (the 09/13/2016 at 3:54pm)

bogart20

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7048
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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bogart20's page activity

Visits<b>sabby7</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 12:11pm<b>CrazedGunner</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:35pm

Fucked!<b>CrazedGunner</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:36am

bogart20's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of bogart20's badges

bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

by Spockx / 08/06/2012 at 7:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

by oops / 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

by Raaaaage / 07/22/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

by lurna301 / 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

by Misky / 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

by Jacqueline / 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.