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bogart20's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
bogart20's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
by martinaaah / 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML
by Ashley / 09/06/2012 at 8:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
by Loserbot / 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by jon / 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off… Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples.…