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bogart20

Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 4:17pm) | Search for a member

bogart20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3819
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20867) - you deserved it (8823)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (38417)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43945) - you deserved it (6349)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (3656)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (23989)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (2768)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20310) - you deserved it (8714)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (9048)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (23318)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (4613)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (15880)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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