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bogart20

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bogart20
  • Town/Country : humboldt, united states
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3117
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (5285)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (1687)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71938) - you deserved it (8398)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (4006)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

#20103918
103 comments

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11722) - you deserved it (27899)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45191) - you deserved it (1820)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29362) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22288) - you deserved it (2368)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19833) - you deserved it (1883)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19867) - you deserved it (1276)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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