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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (4961)
On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7825) - you deserved it (38810)
On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (2171)
On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13954) - you deserved it (3436)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (1765)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5134) - you deserved it (33584)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48610) - you deserved it (1786)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (972)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (14258)
On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (1051)
On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States
Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you deserved it (1793)
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you deserved it (12041)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6819) - you deserved it (50441)
On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (2843)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (1771)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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