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bogart20

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 12:24pm) | Search for a member

bogart20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3884
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bogart20's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (1823)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (8210)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML

#19742192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (2456)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:23am - health - by 635CSi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (6866)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (6866)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (3003)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (2177)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (1683)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (2406)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

#19647368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (1866)

On 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cheesfactor (woman) - Bulgaria (Ruse)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (5040)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (3917)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (6025)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6841) - you deserved it (35234)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)



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