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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bobsledbilly

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bobsledbilly
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 February 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 251
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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bobsledbilly's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (57310)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

#1079164 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (83786) - you deserved it (3581)

On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (68611) - you deserved it (3622)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (13387) - you deserved it (72918)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

#858893 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (52758) - you deserved it (11909)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

#849554 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (38235)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by nextstopplz - New Zealand (Auckland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228677) - you deserved it (19499)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (80825) - you deserved it (4352)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

#379076 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (369827) - you deserved it (52415)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362919) - you deserved it (401239)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (284847) - you deserved it (55456)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795 (426)

I agree, your life sucks (174436) - you deserved it (40142)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)