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bobbyjoe353's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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bobbyjoe353's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
by Alisterine / 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML
by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by JayCee500 / 05/27/2014 at 7:05pm / Health
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…