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Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38275) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (2172)
On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8741) - you deserved it (27612)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16837) - you deserved it (8070)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (1606)
On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9782) - you deserved it (31159)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (14796)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9339) - you deserved it (38861)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (26559)
On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3213)
On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (3893)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123057)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55430) - you deserved it (4005)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (35204)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was teaching me to drive, and told me he agreed with the stereotype that women are worse drivers than men. I argued with him so heatedly about how it was just like a man to say something like that, that I drove through our garage doors because I wasn't paying attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7590) - you deserved it (45584)
On 07/17/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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