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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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blushinFML

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blushinFML
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 October 1972 (39 years)
  • Number of visits : 10664
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

#2330424 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (13669)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

#2291155 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (29967)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (73544) - you deserved it (14551)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML

#2226575 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (44965) - you deserved it (6400)

On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120447) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (5726)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

#1997248 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (5293)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (48359) - you deserved it (37871)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (536)

I agree, your life sucks (65838) - you deserved it (177663)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, While I was running around the block I had this urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

#1299793 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (9969) - you deserved it (32065)

On 04/24/2009 at 8:13pm - misc - by djteller (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (51930) - you deserved it (6342)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (65887) - you deserved it (4533)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77399) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (13378)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)