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bluebell707's favorite FMLs
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML
by Burnt / 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
by Text / 04/25/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy
Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by jsquared / 11/05/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by theleague / 10/09/2010 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Transportation
by danrocketman / 10/05/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML
by lovedontlivehere / 09/23/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by teardrops / 09/21/2010 at 4:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML
- Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off,… Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing.… Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a…