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bluebell707's favorite FMLs
Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML
by replik / 01/25/2012 at 10:50am / Russian Federation / Work
by sourcandy013 / 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML
by fired / 11/04/2011 at 12:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Beaky / 10/12/2011 at 1:09am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:23am / United States / Work
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
by Username / 08/06/2011 at 3:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
by Username / 08/02/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/02/2011 at 2:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Alyssa Charlotte / 07/28/2011 at 10:25pm / Mexico / Transportation
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML
by Fresca11 / 06/28/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by played / 06/21/2011 at 1:07am / Norway / Love
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love