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bls5301

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bls5301
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  • Number of visits : 371
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls5301's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51247) - you deserved it (7802)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (4680)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (21131) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49160) - you deserved it (9961)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59004) - you deserved it (30955)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81140) - you deserved it (15204)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (271153)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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