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blondecat

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blondecat
  • Town/Country : portland, Maine
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 August 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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blondecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15247) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (2139)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8488) - you deserved it (26934)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

#19897806
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7910) - you deserved it (23010)

On 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm - animals - by ambushcat - United States

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7644) - you deserved it (21770)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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