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About blip243 : Sit back and enjoy the rollercoaster that is life :) xx
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Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML
TODAY, MAH HUSBAND YELLD FROM UPSTAIRS, "BABE! BABE, COME QUICK!" TERRIFID THAT SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE HAPPEND TO OUR NEWBORN DAUGHTER, I RUSHD UP, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE JUST WANTD TO SHOW ME THAT HE'D LEREND HOW TO SPIN A TOP ON THE TIP OF HIS PENIS WITHOUT IT FALLING . FML
Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our drection. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML
TODAY, MY SISTER WAS CRYING TO ME ABOUT HOW HER BOYFRIEND NEVER SHOWD UP FOR THERE DATE. HE'S DONE THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE, SO I SUGGESTD THE FACT THAT MAYBE HE'D JUST DITCHD HER. SHE SAID THAT WAS RIDICULOUS, BECAUSE "HE'S CANADIAN" AN ACCORDING TO HER, "THEY DON'T LIE." REAL FML
2day my dad yet again utterd the words "well, that escalatd quickly,"hile watching the news . He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day . I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already . He raisd an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalatd quickly." FML
Today, I cummed home from work to mah 4-year old daughter cussing left an right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked mah shin an screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015