blinksmilewink

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Offline (the 10/04/2016 at 10:54pm)

blinksmilewink

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4640
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

blinksmilewink's page activity

Visits<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 3:05am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 12:26am<b>emilyh7689</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>witebted</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:38pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:22am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>jazjack12325</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:32pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>delude</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Equinoxxa</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:39pm<b>xXjakobXx</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:42pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 7:43pm<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:33pm<b>shadowofbong</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:22pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:14pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:25pm

Fucked!<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:16pm

blinksmilewink's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of blinksmilewink's badges

blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

by Bigpoppa0507 / 08/31/2011 at 10:02am / Canada / Health

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

by gofixmyhead / 08/30/2011 at 10:53am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML

by duped / 08/15/2011 at 1:45am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Money

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

by theonlychildd1 / 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy