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blinksmilewink

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blinksmilewink
  • Town/Country : Bath, UK
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1621
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

#19448000
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (1805)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:04am - health - by kissrocks4 - United States (California)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (34316)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

#19187002
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (23575)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11659) - you deserved it (14160)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you deserved it (28443)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (6133)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

#19082479
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (4710)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

#19063731
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (1780)

On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13672) - you deserved it (38826)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (6368)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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