blinksmilewink

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Offline (the 02/18/2016 at 6:05pm)

blinksmilewink

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3914
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

blinksmilewink's page activity

Visits<b>emilyh7689</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>witebted</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:38pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:22am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>jazjack12325</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:32pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>delude</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Equinoxxa</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:39pm<b>xXjakobXx</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:42pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 7:43pm<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:33pm<b>shadowofbong</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:22pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:14pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:01pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 10:18am

Fucked!<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:16pm

blinksmilewink's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of blinksmilewink's badges

blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

by erin3809483 / 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

by morningeyes / 05/19/2009 at 10:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

by jonboy / 05/09/2009 at 4:11pm / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

by xxxdwangelaxxx / 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

by jules / 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

by theassman / 03/11/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

by Fack. / 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love