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blinksmilewink

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blinksmilewink
  • Town/Country : Bath, UK
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1611
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33093) - you deserved it (8244)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9954) - you deserved it (31424)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (8852)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43979) - you deserved it (5786) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (34357)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (5681)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (3380)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (4861)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (31026)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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