blinksmilewink

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Offline (the 02/18/2016 at 6:05pm)

blinksmilewink

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3840
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blinksmilewink : FML.

blinksmilewink's page activity

Visits<b>witebted</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:38pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:22am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>jazjack12325</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 11:32pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>delude</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Equinoxxa</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:39pm<b>xXjakobXx</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:42pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 12:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 7:43pm<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:33pm<b>shadowofbong</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 4:22pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:14pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:25pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:01pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 10:18am<b>technochik3</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 5:31pm

Fucked!<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:16pm

blinksmilewink's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of blinksmilewink's badges

blinksmilewink's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm / United States / Work

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

by say dump him and i'll kill you / 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

by lingling / 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous